From the series, Our Guide to Surrogacy in the U.S.
Knowing what I now know, this is a super simple question to answer. Without hesitation I recommend that you pick the Doctor first, then the clinic then the people that will help you with the rest of the process!
I very much doubt that you would go for heart surgery by choosing the hospital without researching the Doctor performing the surgery, so why create your family any differently? Research your Doctor, check their pregnancy success rates, live birth rates, how many transfers they do, single or twin transfers and most importantly TALK TO THEM – you must follow your instinct. If you like the Doctor that is wonderful, if not then find one that you do.
At the time we were making the choice of which route to go first we had no idea what we were supposed to be doing! We naively believed that by getting in touch with an agency we would be guided by them to make the right choices.
Not necessarily so. I might be tarring all agencies with the same brush but bear in mind that what is in the best interest of the agency is not necessarily in your best interest. Two classic examples are where you are "guided" towards an IVF clinic that just happens to have a tie-in to the agency! Or they guide you towards an insurance broker in which they just happen to have a minority stake.... Surrogacy is a business, and a profitable one, so make sure you know who does what, how they fit in to the picture and make decisions that are right for you.
At the same time, I have also heard that some IVF clinics are trying to get more involved in the whole puzzle and are starting to act like a surrogacy agency by matching patients and surrogates. That is wrong too, but when money is talking it is amazing what ideas start cropping up. I also think that agencies should not have egg donor banks as typically the egg donors have not been medically screened for their viability in producing suitable quality or quantity of eggs and you an get your heart set on a donor that ultimately doesn't work.
So, in a nutshell I think let the agency find you a surrogate, look after all the paperwork, manage your escrow account and basically handle all of the "case management" bureaucracy. And let the IVF clinic medically screen and assess the suitability of the egg donors and evaluate them before you see them. Let the clinic manage the IVF protocols (drug doses etc) and do the retrieval, fertilisation and transfer... after all that is why you are paying each of them a vast sum of money!
I believe that your Doctor is THE most important part of making your IVF family so maybe I'm missing something but I say let the Doctor do the medical stuff and let the agency do the legal stuff... After all that is what they should be good at doing.
Richard and his partner Steven undertook surrogacy in the United States and learned everything about the process during the process. Since the twins were born, Richard has become an advocate helping prospective parents (both gay and straight) learn more about surrogacy in general but predominantly about doing it in the US. In doing so Richard aims to help parents make informed decisions from the outset which should hopefully save them not only a lot of hassle but also a lot of money.
Richard has always had a fascination with biology and on the back of his experiences and his advocacy work he now also helps US fertility clinics in the UK reach out to prospective parents.
Richard's basic step-by-step guide featured in the We are Family Magazine Winter 2013 edition. Richard is also actively involved within the UK gay dads community in organisations such as GaySurrogacyUK and Families Thru Surrogacy.
Biography and photo courtesy of Richard Westoby and www.guidetosurrogacy.com
Follow Richard on Twitter @RW1602
Buy, "Our Journey: One Couple's Guide to U.S. Surrogacy" available now!
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