Candace and Chris: Our Misconception

How exciting that we can share our story with Dawn on The ABC’s of Surrogacy! Thank you Dawn for helping spread awareness of family building options and mostly for helping create families.

Our first misconception was having a baby would be easy peasy. The real stress would come 9 months later after the baby arrives right? Like many couples that face life’s challenges we were very much blind sighted as to what was in store for us. Shortly after Chris and I said our vows, we were thrown into a challenge we never thought we would have to face. He had a brain tumor. One that was very sneaky and great at hiding from the neurosurgeons. We even named it Phil, why Phil? No clue but none the less we fought him and won the battle two craniotomies later. Life events like that change perspectives; they alter your priorities and way of thinking. After staring down the risk of losing each other, the need to start a family sharpened in our focus. We both knew and understood all too well that life is a gift we receive every new morning we awake.

We have an all too familiar infertile rap sheet though. I’ll spare the history but it involved 7 years of procedures, surgeries, sharp pointy needles, an empty bank account and a trash can filled with disappointment from negative pregnancy tests. It wasn’t until 3 years ago we came out to our families and really to the world about our broken plumbing. I started a blog and shared our story from both perspectives, his and hers. That is when a MTV casting producer came across our story. They followed us for almost a year. They captured our 6th failed IVF round, followed us through our adoption pursuits and then ended the show where we met our surrogate.  Surrogacy was on our neva-gonna-happen list. Another misconception we had. We whole heartedly thought that it was only for the rich and powerful or for those who have someone willing to do it free of charge.

We are neither rich nor powerful and our surrogacy is for the most part commercial. Personally, I hate that term (commercial surrogacy) because I truly believe that it takes someone with an altruistic heart and intention to carry for a childless couple. So we took a risk and put all of our eggs in one basket. Literally, because I had been seeing an oncologist over the years. My risk for uterine cancer was so great that I needed to have a hysterectomy shortly after we transferred our remaining two embryos to our surrogate. I had no womb and heart filled with hope. We fundraised and did everything possible to make it happen. That hope, risk, craziness, drive or whatever you want to call it paid off. We are now expecting a little girl in June via gestational carrier. Surrogacy has given us the chance at parenthood. That one selfless act will change our lives forever.

Candace and Chris from MTV’s True Life documentary, “I’m Desperate to Have a Baby” and Our Misconception Blog

April 14th

If you haven't yet had an opportunity to listen to last week's 1-hour special, Expanding Reproductive Health Options for HIV-Affected Individuals: It's Time, then you can do so now on demand! This week we'll be taking a break from The ABC's of Surrogacy, and next will week be back with return guests Chris and Candace, bloggers of Our Misconception and from MTV's True Life. Check out their show page for more info.

We are proud to premiere contributing blogger to HelloBaby Patricia Gerschler, in her brand new monthly series here on the HelloBaby blog. Patricia will be guiding us through her experiences of conception, pregnancy, birth and parenting while dealing Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and Diabetes. Patricia is a talented writer with a unique voice whom you will just love! You can check out here blog at HelloBaby!

Episode 32: Expanding Reproductive Health Options for HIV-Affected Individuals: It's Time

More than 1.1 million people are infected with HIV, and there are about 50,000 new cases each year annually in the United States, according to the CDC. In this episode of "ABCs of Surrogacy," we are pleased to have several experts discussing options now available for HIV-Affected individuals. Shannon Weber, MSW, the coordinator of the Bay Area Perinatal Aids Center (BPAC) at the University of California, San Francisco Division of HIV/AIDS, Department of Medicine and Director of the National Perinatal HIV Hoteline, and Dr. Pat Garcia, MD/MPH, Professor in Obstetrics and Gynecology-Maternal Field Medicine at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine and whose interest is in HIV and AIDS, will be joined by two HIV+ patients, who will be discussing the barriers they encountered during their quest for fertility services and parenthood. Due to revolutionary technology family building options, parenting is now a viable option for everyone, including those who are HIV+, without any transmission to either baby or carrier of the pregnancy. Don't miss this very informative 1-hour episode on this week's "ABCs of Surrogacy!”

About Shannon Weber
Shannon Weber, MSW is the Director of UCSF's National Perinatal HIV Hotline, a free 24/7, expert consultation service. She also coordinates the Bay Area Perinatal AIDS Center (BAPAC), a San Francisco General Hospital program providing preconception and prenatal care to HIV-affected individuals. Shannon launched the PRO Men (Positive Reproductive Outcomes for HIV+ Men) initiative, an innovative collaboration between BAPAC and SFGH’s Ward 86 HIV Clinic integrating men’s reproductive and sexual health care into a primary care setting.

About Caroline Watson
Caroline Watson is an outreach volunteer for the Bay Area Perinatal AIDS Center (BAPAC) which provides care to HIV-positive pregnant women and HIV-affected couples. She also works with the PRO Men (Positive Reproductive Outcomes for HIV+ Men) initiative which supports HIV+ men in their desires to date, have sex, & have families. She participated in & reviewed three professionally filmed PRO Men videos. She attended a postpartum doula workshop with DONA certified trainer Ann Grauer & is working on her certification. Caroline has shared her story of staying negative in a serodiscordant marriage & having a baby in a front-page San Francisco Chronicle story, on KQED (SF’s NPR affiliate), in front of hundreds at provider events, & at the Northern California Service League (a transition from incarceration program). She co-hosted the PRO Men HIV Virtual Townhall on Google Hangouts. She is also a member of the CDC’s Expert Panel On Reproductive Health and Preconception Care.

Resources:

Thinking About Having A Baby? [PDF]

For more information on PReP:
My PReP Experience [blog]
PRePwatch.org
CDC info on PReP

April 3rd

Last year we had an amazing show with Shanon Weber talking about HIV+ individuals and their parenting options. Next week we will be chatting with Shanon again and featuring some amazing guests who will talk about their parenting journey while being HIV+. Expanding Reproductive Health Options for HIV-Affected Individuals: It's Time will be a special ONE HOUR broadcast next Wednesday, 4/9/2014 at 7pm PST. Be sure to tune in!